Fall 2024

Todd and Shari Nelson Named 2024 Agrace Community Luminaries

When the people you love have compassionate, dignified end-of-life care, it’s natural to hope that experience—that gift—is available to everyone. That’s why Todd and Shari Nelson are our 2024 Agrace Community Luminaries.

Shari and Todd Nelson (back) will match $100,000 in donations—to
honor Agrace’s care of his parents (front) and her mother.

Dear Agrace Friends and Donors,

Agrace has been a beacon of hope and support for our family during some of our most challenging times. We’re sharing our Agrace story to explain why we support this remarkable organization—in the hope that you will, too.

In 2018, we attended a “get to know Agrace” meeting in Wisconsin Dells. We were so impressed by the dedication and compassion of the staff we met. Little did we know that just a few months later, we would need Agrace’s services.

In July 2018, Todd’s dad became critically ill. We were stunned to hear that his doctor expected him to live only a few days. He wanted to be at home, so we called Agrace Hospice Care. And just a few hours later, he was home. Agrace took over all aspects of his care, including managing his medications and bringing him essential medical equipment.

Three days went by—and he was doing great! He surprised everyone by living nine more months, and what Agrace did for him for those nine months was incredible.

Later, Agrace cared for Shari’s mother at the end of her life. Then just last year, we used Agrace again, for Todd’s mother. She was fragile, but she had a wonderful nurse who led her care team. With Agrace’s care, we had six more meaningful months together. We were even able to continue our family tradition of sharing a martini during cocktail hour until the very end!

The care Agrace provided to three of our parents over the past six years was just incredible. To honor the impact this amazing organization has had on our family, we are donating $100,000 to Agrace and offering it as a community match.

We hope our gift lights the way for others to contribute whatever they can to support Agrace’s mission of compassionate end-of-life care that’s available to everyone, including those who cannot pay for the care they need. We will match every donation, up to $100,000, through the end of this year.

We thank Agrace for recognizing us as your 2024 Agrace Community Luminaries. We are committed to supporting Agrace for the rest of our lives, to help ensure other families can receive the same exceptional care that ours did.   

Sincerely,

Todd & Shari Nelson

Wisconsin Dells

Will got his Brewers wish—with his own personal crew

Will’s love of baseball had deep roots. At age 10, he had the chance to be a Milwaukee Brewers’ bat boy. As he waited in the County Stadium dugout, Brewers’ icon Bob Uecker announced his name as an honorary bat boy. As an adult, Will still had a cassette tape with the recording of that moment.

But when he became an Agrace Hospice Care patient last spring, the 44-year-old Janesville resident knew he might not get to another Brewers game in person. His illness was progressing, and he needed supplemental oxygen. Then, during a goals-of-care discussion, Will’s Agrace social worker, Kristin, and nurse, Jill, saw a chance to make his wish come true through Agrace’s Wish program.

Kristin and Jill worked with staff of the Agrace Foundation to contact the Brewers Community Foundation, American Family Field and other community partners. A donor quickly stepped forward to give Will and his family four wheelchair-accessible seats for a Brewers game, plus tickets for Kristin and Jill to go along to support Will’s care needs. Jill made sure Will had portable oxygen tanks and that his seat had a power outlet for his oxygen concentrator.

‘He just looked so happy’

Just a few days later, Will was on his way to a game! At the ballpark, Cecelia Gore, executive director of the Brewers Community Foundation, surprised Will with a gift bag of team gear and a coveted “Ueck Skywalker” Star Wars-themed bobblehead. She also arranged for Brewers’ Hall of Famer Robin Yount to send Will a video message of encouragement. Bob Johnson, a long-time supporter of Agrace in Janesville, added a Willy Adames-autographed canvas.

Beyond the support provided by these generous donors, Agrace’s Wish program, which is funded by community donations, covered other trip costs that were a barrier to the outing for Will and his family. “There was so much working behind the scenes—with so many different people. It came together even better than we expected,” Jill says. “The whole thing was pretty amazing.”

Kristin adds, “Will loved it. Just being at AmFam Field with the environment and excitement; he just looked so happy—and was so grateful.”

Jessie Shiveler

‘Should I be farther along with my grief?’

By Jessie Shiveler, community grief manager, Agrace Grief Support Center

We often hear from those who attend our grief support groups that they aren’t as “far along” in their grief as they think they should be.

When someone we love dies, we can place unrealistic expectations on ourselves and our grief, which can lead to feeling like we aren’t “progressing.” Like there’s something wrong with us or like we aren’t grieving the “right” way. When people stop asking how we are or stop acknowledging our loss, we may think we should be in a different place emotionally because the check-ins have stopped.

It’s just not that simple.

Grief is often two steps forward, three steps back. It’s doing well one minute, then smelling your person’s favorite food and being unable to function the rest of the day. It’s running into someone who doesn’t know about the death and having to decide whether you’re up to having that uncomfortable conversation. It’s saying, “I’m fine”—even though your life has been turned upside down and no one seems to notice.

Grief is exhausting. It affects every aspect of your life, and you may feel like you can’t or shouldn’t talk about it. It can help to talk with others who don’t judge how your grief is unfolding. If you feel like you’re stuck or like no one understands, please contact the Agrace Grief Support Center at (608) 327-7110 or GriefSupport@Agrace.org. We’d love to help you feel that you’re not alone.

Clients enjoy balloon volleyball at the Adult Day Center

Veterans May Qualify for Financial Aid to Attend Adult Day Center

If you know a veteran who has memory loss or dementia and would benefit from attending Agrace’s Adult Day Center in Madison, please know that need-based financial support may be available. To ask about eligibility, please contact the VA.

Every adult should have advance directives in place. These documents help guide difficult medical treatment decisions if you are ever unable to communicate for yourself. They can spare you—and your family—future suffering.

Agrace is offering free, virtual one-hour discussions on this topic to help you get started. Anyone 18 or older can participate on November 21 at 8 a.m. or 3 p.m.
Register here