Hospice Helps Renee Live Final Weeks with Dignity, not Judgement
By Cheri Milton
When my sister Renee was 43, she had bariatric surgery for weight loss. Before that, she never drank alcohol. But after her surgery, she’d have a glass of wine. Being predisposed to an addictive temperament, a person can “trade” addictions. And that’s exactly what happened—long before we realized it was a problem.
From then on, Renee did rehab, inpatient programs, outpatient programs. She tried to do the “internal” work, too, but she just could not hang on to long-term sobriety.
As Renee was dying from liver disease, I felt sad, overwhelmed and helpless that my sister’s drinking had taken her down this awful path. She, too, felt so much regret and shame for not being able to maintain sobriety and turn her health around.
Agrace Was the Best Choice for Her
Renee Brown
When her doctors said it was time for hospice, my husband and I knew we wanted to help. We invited Renee to move into our home in rural Columbia County. I was convinced that Agrace Hospice Care was the best choice for her. I was a grief counselor with Agrace from 2007 to 2019—and that’s where “my people” are!
Renee came to our home on a Saturday, and we called Agrace immediately. The Enrollment Team visited on Sunday. The staff who came to enroll Renee were so patient as she struggled to answer their questions. Their compassion was so evident that Renee relaxed, feeling that they were not blaming her, but really cared about getting her the support she needed.
Renee’s Baraboo-based care team included her nurse, Amber, and social worker, Leslie. Their first visit was so reassuring to all of us—that the goal was to help Renee feel safe, cared for and comfortable, to provide the best quality of life for her. Renee slowly set aside her guilt, shame and embarrassment.
Renee accepted the offer to spend her final weeks with family, well supported as she tried to make amends and find peace.
With her pain managed and the right medical equipment provided by Agrace, Renee was able to sing and play her electric keyboard. Our family treasures those moments, hearing her beautiful voice for the last time!
As she declined, Renee’s symptoms became severe. Each time there was a ramping up of pain we found ourselves having to call Agrace in the night. Agrace’s Care Access Team responded quickly, sending a nurse out to assess her, figure out what was needed and help us feel comfortable giving any new medication.
In every interaction with Agrace staff, I know Renee felt respect and compassion. There was no judgement, no criticism. This freed her to embrace her final moments, to say all the things she needed to say, and make amends where she could.
Five weeks after signing onto Agrace, our family surrounded Renee’s bed as she took her last breath. Just 61, she died peacefully, with dignity. We will be forever grateful to Agrace for making our journey possible.