Kellan and his movies
Shortly after their son was born, Vanessa and Jesse Meinke began to worry that he continually dropped below birth weight. After many hospital visits, they learned that baby Kellan’s digestive system was unable to tolerate feedings, which caused severe pain, vomiting and seizures. The condition was so rare that a diagnosis has yet to be found.
Eventually, Kellan began to receive nutrients intravenously and he thrived. He quickly grew into the sweet, playful boy that everyone remembers. He loved watching movies, cheering on the Packers and playing with his two older sisters. Despite the pain he felt every day, he smiled easily and called everyone he met “friend,” Vanessa remembers.
Sadly, Kellan was unable to overcome his rare condition. He was only six when he died on August 28, 2017, in the comfort of his own living room with his parents, sisters and Agrace Hospice Care team by his side.
“Losing Kellan took all the color out of the world. It was hard to find any purpose without him,” says Vanessa. Christmas Day 2017 was the difficult, pivotal day she decided to enlist the Agrace Grief Support Center’s help. Determined to break through the isolation of the family’s grief, she hoped to find a way for them to connect with others and process their emotions.
Support for Grieving Families
“There are so many situations when you have to tuck away your grief. It’s there all the time, but you don’t always get to acknowledge it. As soon as you walk through the doors of the Center, you can meet your grief wherever it is that day,” Vanessa explains.
The Meinkes enrolled in Agrace’s Family Program, which supports both grieving children and their parents/main caregivers. Grouped by age, children participate in therapeutic activities like art and imaginative play, while the adults meet separately. Sharing a meal provided by Agrace helps the families connect and gives them a much-needed break from meal preparation.
The Family Program gave the Meinkes space to talk about Kellan and learn healthy coping mechanisms for daily life—and for special times like holidays and birthdays. Now, on each passing birthday and “lossiversary,” the Meinkes honor Kellan’s life by holding “Bubby’s Movie Marathon” in their living room, a tradition they started in Kellan’s final weeks of life to bring him comfort. They watch some of his favorite flicks, along with new movies he would surely have loved. They find it the perfect way to honor their grief in the very place where Kellan took his last breath.